Equestria Shorts
by Kanmeros
Summary: These are a series of shorts I am writing about certain My Little Pony:  Friendship is Magic episodes or other random events including characters from the show.  It is intended as a parody.
1. Chapter 1

Equestria shorts, Episode 1

By

RedDragonKan

_Ever wonder what became of Blueblood after treating Rarity like that at the Gala? Well, wonder no further..._

Pricess Celestia was being VERY patient with this pony. She had called him to issue a concern about what happened in the last Gala this year. Sure, most of the issues she was faced with were with a certain group of ponies that arrived with her student, but she merely dismissed them all, making it all in good humor. This, however...had to be corrected.

"Blueblood, what is it with you and other ponies? Can't you at least behave like a gentlecolt around one of my student's friends?"

"It was not MY fault that one of those...commoners approached me. After all, I am quite irresistible and mares around me couldn't be more intrigued in meeting me. But this mare in question was a total floosie! Do you know how hard I groomed myself to look my best at the Gala, only for her to ruin my coat with simple, carnival fare junk?"

The ever patient Princess resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She took a slow, deep breath and tried her best again.

"Look, I have heard that what happened wasn't exactly her fault. As far as I understand it, YOU used her as a shield to protect yourself from that cake, which she didn't even had to do anything with. Really, can't you treat anypony with respect?"

"Why should I?" he replied with a huff "I am ROYALTY! if anything, ponies like her should feel glad that I bother to give them the time of day! I refuse to treat commoners as my equal, it just does not make sense!"

At this, Celestia sighed "Very well then...you leave me no choice." She then closed her eyes and clapped her hooves twice. All of the sudden, a howl came from behind the throne and a white coated pony sommersaulted towards Blueblood. Before the regal pony had time to react, he was suddenly being clobbered all around his face and body, with little time for him to avoid such assault.

"AUGH, OUCH, WHAT THE...AARGH!"

Celestia levitated a cup of tea from her table and sipped a bit from it while hearing the agonising screams of her nephew. The guards at the door just coughed and pretended nothing was going on.

"Bob?"

"Yes Clark?"

"I think I will go out tonight, seems awfully good outside."

"I hear ya."

The assault on the prince continued until it raised a grey cloud covering both ponies. The barrage of punches,kicks,and even headbutts were heard by Celestia, but she flinched when she heard a ripping noise and an unnatural high pitched scream from Blueblood. After the dloud dissipated from view, there was Blueblood on the floor, holding his lower side with a pained look on his face and eyes closed shut. Stading before him there was a panting Rarity with her mane all over the place and glaring at he fallen prince. Princess Celestia walked over to the agitated unicorn mare and smiled.

"Well then...care for some tea, Rarity?"

"Why, certainly Princess! I'll be honored."

"Alright, let us indulge ourselves."

With that, both ponies walked out the room, leaving a shivering Blueblood behind.


	2. Chapter 2

Equestria shorts, Episode 2

By

RedDragonKan

In a toy store located within a busy city, the kights were out, the costumers away, and the only person within its closed doors was a lazy security guard napping at one of the counters near the entrance of the building. There were a variety of toys for both boys and girls, but one section in particular was largely praised for its inventory: toys based on the cartoon sow My Little Pony, Friendship is Magic. The latest addition to the line was a special package named "the Canterlot collection" which included two pony figures, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. They both were placed in the package facing each other and every night, they would engage in a series of conversations that often ended with them both arguing until the next morning. Tonight was no different, and Luna was the first to speak this time around.

"Celestia?"

"Yes Luna."

"Why are you pink?"

Celestia narrowed her eyes and looked straight at her toy sister.

"Well, why are YOU purple?"

"Oh, very mature sister. At least I don't have to put up with the fact that you have to 'talk', praising how pretty your wings are and all."

"At least I have a voice. You on the other hoof have to deal with standing there looking cute while all the attention goes over me as ruler of Equestria."

Luna raised her head and scowled at the pink colored princess.

"What? First of all, WE not _you_ are the rulers of Equestria. Second, you are a toy, not the real deal therefore not THE princess of said fictional place."

"Then that means you aren't either."

"Yes but...but...ooohh!"

The box started shaking as Luna tried to hop in a fit of a tantrum. The box was shaking so much, that it was slowly edging away from the shelf to the floor below.

"Luna...LUNA! Stop it or we are going to-"

It was too late. The box fell to the floor, leaving the two toy princesses staring at each other sideways. Celestia sighed.

"Look what you did. Now we are stuck here until morning when those people bother to pick us up again. I hope you're satisfied."

Luna began shaking the box a bit more to Celestia's surprise until the button on the side of her body was pressed.

"_My wings are pretty!_"

"Stop that Luna."

"_I always want to meet new friends!_"

"I said STOP!"

"_Love and Tolerance...or else._"

"Wait, where did THAT come from? I don't remember it being programmed there..."

"Ha,ha, now who's the worst toy of us both?"

"Oh shut it or I will find a way to send you to the moon."

Luna made a raspberry at her elder sister, which she returned in kind. Both kept making faces at each other until morning came, when the store opened anew and employees began making their rounds on the store, one of them picking up the package and placing it on the shelf where it belonged. The two toy princesses froze like nothing happened, until night would come to resume their daily banter.


	3. Chapter 3

EQUESTRIA SHORTS 3

By

RedDragonKan

The mushroom kingdom. A bright sunny day greeted the land while the various creatures roamed around; minding their own business whenever there wasn't a certain plumber around to squash them. All of the sudden, a loud "pop!" noise was heard, and Rainbow Dash appeared in the middle of the road. She blinked and looked around her surroundings.

"Where in the hay am I...?"

She noticed something far away slowly coming her way. She squinted to notice the small shape nearing her, and as it came closer, she realized that the creature looked like a brown mushroom with tiny feet and a face with a scowl on it. Rainbow Dash started talking to it as it kept walking towards her.

"Hey...do you know where am I? Heck, do you even know what I am saying? Um...you can stop now...hey, I said don't get too close to me!"

Rainbow Dash raised her hooves and planted them on the mushroom-looking creature to stop it, only to get zapped. She screamed and jolted to the air, hovering with her wings as the tiny creature kept walking away. Rainbow Dash glared at it.

"What in the world was that for? Wait a minute...what happened to my voice? Why does it sound so...tiny...?"

Rainbow Dash looked at herself and noticed she was smaller than when she touched the creature. She huffed and started flying aimlessly through the new world she was in. As she passed a floating square with a question mark on it, she bucked it in frustration and went on her way. She turned around when she heard a funny noise coming from said square and noticed an oversized red mushroom standing on top of it. She raised an eyebrow and got closer to it.

"Huh...a mushroom. Well, I am kinda hungry and I think mushrooms are edible, at least the ones they put on pizzas anyway. I think I will take a bite out of it..."

She opened her mouth and bit the mushroom, only for it to disappear when she did so. As Rainbow Dash tried to find out what happened, she felt her body grow back to its original size. She looked at herself and grimaced.

"This is getting weirder by the minute. Well, at least I am back to normal. Gotta find a way outta here and fast, I don't want to meet any more of those things."

As she kept flying around, she noticed various weird creatures along the way. Turtles of various colors walking upright, piranha plants sticking their heads out from green pipes, flying bullets passing by with eyes and tiny arms on their sides and more of those mushroom looking things. She kept herself aloft, not wanting to bother with any of said creatures. She noticed that the clouds here seemed like the ones back home, but a bit more roundish and for some reason, with faces on them. This was starting to creep her out when she noticed one of said clouds began chasing her. She looked at it when a strange orange creature with big eyes popped out from the cloud. It then began tossing red balls at her, trying to hit her.

"Hey! What the hay are you doing this to me? Stop it!"

Rainbow kept dodging every ball as it landed on the floor. She noticed that said things quickly transformed into tiny turtle like creatures with spines on their shells, walking aimlessly around. Rainbow Dash tried her best to evade the projectiles, but found it harder as the thing kept tossing them with more speed as it kept flying above her. She noticed another floating square with a question mark on it, and quickly buck it to reveal a bigger mushroom this time around. She quickly put it in her mouth as it too, disappeared once it made contact with her. Within moments, she grew in enormous size this time, towering over the cloud with the orange fiend among every other creature that was now looking up at her. Rainbow smiled.

"Alright you little dorks! Let's see how you like this!"

She slapped the cloud away with her huge hoof as she kicked and trashed around the diminutive creatures. She laughed as she kept walking through the place kicking about anything she passed by. However her joy was short lived, as she felt her body getting back to regular size. She stood on the ground, looking back at a crowd of very angry looking creatures glaring at her. Rainbow yelped and dashed away as said creatures began chasing her now. She flew away gaining speed as she neared a set of stone stairs that were built with several steps on them. Dash glided upwards to get over the structure and found a flagpole at the other end. She soon realized said pole was too close to her and tried to stop, only to find herself smacked against it and holding on to the flag as she slid down below. Dash landed on her haunches, seeing stars floating around her for a moment. She shook he r head to clear it and noticed a big castle a few feet away from her position. Seeing nowhere else to go, Dash shrugged and walked inside said structure.

"Maybe there is someone here that could tell me how to get back home..."

As she entered the place through one of the many door less arks, she quickly found herself in a different place, one that looked like a huge dungeon with floor and walls made of gray bricks, fire turning around platforms in a circular manner, and fireballs shooting from lava pits below. Dash grimaced.

"What kind of castle is this anyway? Sigh, I guess I have to go through this mess to find what's going on..."

She dashed through the hazards with ease, avoiding the fire shooting from the lava pits and circling around the lines of fire that were moving clockwise. She kept flying through the castle, finding more fire obstacles on the way. Dash was beginning to get bored when she reached what it seemed to be end of said castle. She stopped briefly as a shot of fire nearly hit her. Dash avoided more fire projectiles as they increased in number and continued flying forward, trying to find out who was shooting at her. She found herself in front of what it appeared to be a bridge, and on top of it, a huge turtle-like monster with red mane and spiked shell. He breathed another ball of fire at her, which she dodged with ease. Rainbow then narrowed her eyes and confronted the beast.

"Okay you can stop that now! I don't know why everything here keeps attacking me, but I won't put up with it! Now tell me how I can get out of this crazy place! That is, if you can even speak anyway..."

The huge turtle stopped breathing fire at her and then just looked at her. He then crossed his arms.

"Hm...no. I don't think I will tell you anything. You just gonna have to be scorched the way anyone gets when they try to get past me."

"What? Why would you do to anyone anyway? Hey!"

Rainbow was now facing something other than fire. The creature began tossing iron hammers her way, arching over and trying to knock her off the air. Rainbow Dash growled and flew towards the creature, dodging fire and hammers as she dashed past him. She landed on the other side near a glowing axe besides the ropes holding the bridge. The turtle turned around and his eyes bulged when he saw her there. Rainbow raised her eyebrow and then looked at the axe, putting two and two together, she picked up the axe and had a vicious grin on her face, looking back at the turtle creature who then gulped.

"Uh...wait! We can work something out; just DON'T cut off the rope..."

"Aw I think it's a bit too late for that, chump. Happy landing!"

With that she brought down the axe to the rope and the monster screamed, falling into the lava below and disappearing with an audible hiss. Rainbow tossed the axe away and let out a breath of relief. Realizing there was nothing else to do; she turned and continued walking further the chamber she now was in. She found what it looked like a tiny person wearing a huge hat that looked like a mushroom. She wondered now what was with this place and mushrooms. As soon as she neared it, the odd looking person bounced in a cheerful manner and rushed towards her.

"Thank you Mario! But the Princess is in another castle!"

"What? Who are you referring to, I am not "Mario", and what do you mean the Princess is in another castle? Do you mean Princess Celestia or Luna?"

"Thank you Mario! But the Princess is in another castle!"

"You said that already. Look, I am just trying to find my way out of here; do you know how I can do that?"

"Thank you Mario! But the Princess is in another castle!"

"AARGH! Why you little-"

Rainbow Dash opened her eyes with a start. She groaned as she stood up from the floor, knocking away the videogame controller she had between her hooves. She sat upright blinking at the television screen as she saw the GAME OVER on it.

"Aw pony, this is the last time I eat enormous amounts of junk food while playing Ponyntendo. Just how the hay did I fell asleep so easily? Thank Celestia it was all a dream. Hm...this dream made me hungry though, I wonder if there's any pizza left."

She searched over a pizza box on the floor near her and opened it up. She looked at the toppings revealing among other things, a series of mushrooms on the leftover slices. Rainbow Dash's eyes narrowed.

"I HATE mushrooms!" she screamed as she tossed the box with the leftover pizza out of the window, hitting Pinkie Pie on the face as she tried to fly over Dash's home using her flying contraption.

"Ooh, pizza! I LOVE mushrooms!" she said as she started munching on a slice that was on her face.

THE END


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